How i finally changed my relationship with food
“Exercise is king; nutrition is queen. Put them together, and you've got a kingdom.” - Jack LaLanne
I’ve had an ongoing battle with food for as long as I can remember. I was a chubby kid who got active in high school, and I got into pretty good shape because I played so much basketball. But after my basketball days ended around age 20, I slowly started gaining weight. My weight would go up and down depending on my exercise habits at the time.
My Unhealthy Relationship With Food
I always seemed to have an unhealthy relationship with food. If I was bored, I’d eat. If I was depressed, I’d eat. You get the idea.
Food was almost like a drug for me. I used it to change my state of mind. Every meal was an event I planned my day around, and of course, a big event deserved a big meal.
I had a self-image problem that went along with all of it. Poor self-image brings shame and depression, and I had a quick fix for both: more food.
Why Willpower Didn’t Help Me Lose Weight
I could always get motivated for a while and, through "willpower," force myself to eat less and make healthier choices. But it never lasted. I always found my way back to the same old behaviors, and I always found the weight I had lost, too.
With my weight constantly going up and down, I convinced myself I was doomed, so why even try? For years, I ate what I wanted, when I wanted, with a "to hell with it" attitude.
At 6'7", I was able to hide some of the weight for a while. But after years of not giving a damn, I wasn’t just tall anymore. In fact, if I had been an inch taller, I would have been square.
“Make less and serve less, and then you will eat less. These strategies work much better than relying on willpower or counting calories.” - James Clear
To say my palate is unsophisticated would be an understatement. Pizza, hot dogs, mac and cheese, ramen - just picture an eight-year-old boy’s diet, and you’ll get the idea.
Later, I picked up another bad habit: late-night eating. I’d wake up in the middle of the night and have myself a "snack." Really, it was a meal, but I called it a snack. Add it all up, and I looked like 300 pounds of chewed bubble gum.
This was around the time my doctor started telling me the things I mentioned on my About page. It was also when I became unwilling to keep living the way I was living - not just for me, but for my son as well.
How Small Changes Helped Me Lose Weight
Out of desperation, I started my two-minute push-up routine. That’s all I was willing to do at the time.
A little while later, my thinking started to change. I began to wonder what else I might be willing to do. I decided I was willing to cut out the late-night eating. It wasn’t easy at first, but I got used to it pretty quickly. I started sleeping better, too. Eventually, I was able to get rid of the CPAP machine I had been tied to every night. That felt like losing some kind of cancerous growth.
Those small changes helped me lose about ten pounds over a few months. That was exciting, because all I had done was cut out a midnight "snack" and exercise for a few minutes a few days a week.
Changing the Way I Thought About Food
“One should eat to live, not live to eat.” - Benjamin Franklin
That’s when I started changing the way I thought about food. In other words, I stopped making it so important. It wasn’t a major event in my life anymore.
Now, I’d be lying if I told you I was eating tofu and dry broccoli every day. I still eat the same garbage I’ve always eaten - I just eat less of it. Instead of having four or five slices of pizza, I cut it back to three or four. Now I’m down to two or three.
I knew that if I tried to completely change my diet, like I had so many times before, I’d do it for a while and then quit. To hell with quitting - I’ve done that too many times already. I’m all in.
Finding an Eating Routine I Could Actually Stick With
“I’ve been on a diet for two weeks, and all I’ve lost is two weeks.” - Totie Fields
This time, I applied the same philosophy to my eating habits that I was using with my workouts: small changes over time add up.
That’s what I’ve been doing for about seven years now. No major overhaul, just small changes I was willing to commit to. And I’ve stuck with it because it’s easy.
Summary
“Want to learn to eat a lot? Here it is: Eat a little. That way, you will be around long enough to eat a lot.” - Tony Robbins
It took me far too long to realize that the only way I was going to get in better shape, lose weight, and keep it off was to find an exercise and eating routine I was actually willing to do consistently.
I’m living proof that trying to exercise longer and harder than I was willing to sustain - or going on some diet I was bound to abandon in favor of lifelong comfort food - wasn’t going to work.
I hope you can learn from my mistakes. Find your eating and exercise routine - one that can evolve over time until you find your sweet spot. Something, anything, that’s a little better than what you’re doing now is a great place to start.
This thing is going to evolve. Don’t worry about locking yourself into a routine forever. Just get started and give yourself permission to feel good right now about the journey you’re on and where it might take you.